Why women have affairs?
Chat about a loaded topic that no one wants to chat about, that’s it. Amusing thing, married dating have been going on since millennium. Extramarital affairs can be fraught with problems, cause heartache, and other problems. Plus you have to wrap your brain around all the other issues, there’s that truth and honesty thing, money, age difference, spiritual background, guilt, and on and on. I anticipate there will be some strong opinions about some of this.
For the intention of this post I should identify an affair as a long term, maybe weeks long relationship of a sexual nature between two people of whom one or both are married to other wives/husbands, dating married woman.
Why do men have affairs? There are as many answers as there are seek affairs. I suppose mostly though it is only the human state, the need for affection, belonging, to be wanted and cared for, the caring for others and wanting to be loved and loved. Here are a several explanations I have run across.
Biologically we as human beings are all sexual creatures. Nature has us set up to reproduce, to have sex. Sex is enjoyable and exciting, and sex makes us get away the world for a short period of time. This ecstasy exists for whatever amount of time we are able to keep the adrenalin levels elevated enough. Some people can turn the longing on and off, some are excellent at controlling it and others are so-so at best. Though we all have it, young and old, able bodied and not so able. It is the Human condition. For some of us it is the sex act itself that drives us. For some of us it is the exhilaration of the chase. For some of us it is the seduction, for some it is the caring for another individual, for some it is the desire to be appreciatedloved, for some it is the whole romance thing. These wishes and yearnings can be so strong they overcome the taboos society has erected against married dating. For lots of people the yearnings will defeat their doubts and make them risk the wrath of not only their relatives, but the public also. So why, what is the method?
Sex Addicts, probably some of us are. Sex is awfully good, better then drugs, a natural high. If you are in this group of biologically motivated sex addicts and can find away to have an affair and not hurt your relatives or anybody else? You would need to lessen the hazard you are taking. If you have the feeling that a good affair is one that is advantageous to everyone, then good luck.
No love at home, or no romance. I suppose this is the biggest grouping, huge in fact. There are many couples whose marriage is over, but they are happy in the way they exist, and upsetting the extended families is not on their list of things they wish to do. You love your other half but there is no romance. Also there are the kids to look after. Your assets are so entwined. You need the medical insurance, and so on. There are a lot of reasons to be as a family besides love and sex.
Bodily reasons, there are some people who can not have sex. They have physical circumstances that prevent them implementing the sex act, at least not with their spouse. An extra-marital affair sometimes solves the problem while keeping the marriage uharmed.
Neglect, sadly this is a ordinary reason I fear. One or the other, frequently the gentleman is sexually neglecting his lady for a multitude of reasons. As a male I truly am grateful to you guys neglecting your girls and making them accessible to us guys of romance, making them “milfs” But I still think it is despicable that you are neglectful. Also there is the spouse who is neglectful until the wife or husband has an affair, then they condemn them for doing so, when they where the catalyst. Those who neglect, then condemn, are not just neglectful, but evil.
Something is just misplaced in the marriage, I can not put my finger on it, but its not there. Maybe its romance that is missing, maybe it is a shortage of love, maybe compassion is not here, could be it is the closeness, maybe neglect. Maybe we have simply grown distantly, our relulas interests diverged. Maybe it is that what I want, and what I want to do the rest of my life, is opposed to of what you want. Could be I simply don’t know what I want from the marriage anymore. Could be, just maybe I miss that feeling that when I am with you, it just feels right.
The ultimate reason people give is, they seek the passion that is missing and so very much longed for.
There are other reasons, the feeling of power, to run off, for economic gain, for retribution and so on. I am sure there are more reasons why people have affairs then these. I only stop because if this gets too long no one will read it.